This is the link to the item in the Bournemouth Echo (2004) regarding my late mother, and as reproduced below.

Also, one might ask why have the "(*)" in the menu entry for this page. And I would say that that is a sort of icon being used to denote that in this case the funeral announcement was not being made by some unified or happy family.


SLOCOCK FLORENCE HESTER JOYCE Wife of the late Horace, died on 1st March, aged 84 in Poole Hospital. Loving Mother of Dennis, Geoffrey, Diana, Christopher and Caroline and to Carole, Andrew, Yayu and John and loving Grandmother. Former organiser, with her friend Vi at Help The Aged, Poole. Family Service at Poole Crematorium on Friday 12th March 2.30pm followed by Thanksgiving Service at 3.15pm in St. John's Church, Wimborne. Family flowers only, donations to "PRAMACARE" may be sent c/o Lesley Shand Funeral Service, 184, Wareham Road, Corfe Mullen, Wimborne, Dorset. BH21 3LL. Tel 01202 658833.

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Any reader of this article has to consider what went wrong. And I guess I can say that I have tried to be a member of this family; and, amongst the five siblings, I have been left feeling unhappy with the results of such endeavours. Each to his own, of course; but families tend not to quite work in a simple way. I could also add that my mother was not quite my loving mother. But heck, that is only a much-worn phrase used by funeral directors who — as a matter of course — are diplomatic with and about all. By way of further elaboration, I have written a book on my experiences and also append some further articles; these are accessible in a tab set shown just below.

Divorces and family crises evidently come in different ways and also different glosses are possible upon the discordant family experiences that we may have. My early relationship difficulties with my mother, then, have rather ended up with long-term consequences. Funerals, moreover, are complex rites of passage for each of us; we conform to the social norms at these times but the inner thoughts are very much with us.

The main problem with the funeral announcement above is that my parents were quite demonstrably divorced... about the only things they still shared were the children!

The history of the failing marriage is set out in my book. Other relationships faltered within the family, and my brother changed his name to my mother's maiden name. Some of my siblings evidently did not want to either acknowledge or accept all of the rifts that had happened.

My mother's relationship to Vi was a deeply entangled one, and that aspect of things rather precludes the idea that my mother had in any meaningful sense remained close to my father.

We can perhaps take a closer look at mother's moralising and disapproving attitude toward my father, as well. And, in this connection, About the Mental and Moral Health Issues is an article which expands a bit on this.

Three out of the five siblings developed Type 2 diabetes  (myself, Diana and Dennis), and my grandfather Wheelton suffered also. Amongst the offspring of my mothers three siblings, there seem to be fewer occurrences. The genetics of the condition are not straightforward, and there are quite a number of mutations that can contribute. So, there may within this family be particular aggregates which include my father’s gene pool which may contribute to the relatively higher density among the siblings.

I and my grandfather Wheelton developed an aortic aneurysm. There is a higher incidence of this condition among diabetics. More generally, there are higher incidences of vascular disease among diabetics; and, in my case, I have cardiovascular disease. There is a strong suggestion that Diana suffered from this also, for she died of a cardiac arrest aged sixty-two.

We must bear in mind that my parents did divorce and that my brother Dennis changed his surname to my mother’s maiden name. My mother, moreover, clearly showed signs of being lesbian in her sexual orientation. There are some cultural factors to take into account, also.

In July 2017, I had a CT scan of the brain and some significant brain damage was discovered. It appears from this that we have a physiological explanation for why I lost the power of speech at about eighteen months old. My mother indeed felt alienated from me, and there is now this strand with which I can make some reappraisals of all that happened.

About the Mental and Moral Health Issues is an article I have written which rather extends this discussion.

Geoff 5_500

A Severely Dysfunctional Family: A case study of relationship breakdowns within the author’s family


My book on the breakdown of family relationships was published in 2016 on this page of the Amazon Kindle platform.

There is a major menu item devoted to the book which includes sample text, and it is placed up in the main menu bar. (Or, here is a shortcut which opens up in a new browser tab.)

 

Signed: Geoffrey Slocock, second child of the above